Nyack

subuh sudah datang, akhirnya subuh datang, terima kasih subuh sudah datang.

Lake Barrier

photographs taken during Tenez Votre Parole–Honour Your Word screening in Montreal Summer 2014

“Suara itu hanya terdengar beberapa detik saja dalam hidup. Getarannya sebentar berdengung, takkan terulangi lagi. Tapi seperti juga halnya dengan kali Lusi yang abadi menggarisi kota Blora, dan seperti kali itu juga, suara yang tersimpan menggarisi kenangan dan ingatan itu mengalir juga—mengalir kemuaranya, kelaut yang tak bertepi. Dan tak seorangpun tahu kapan laut itu akan kering dan berhenti berdeburan.

Hilang.

Semua itu sudah hilang dari jangkauan panca-indera.”

Tjerita dari Blora–Pramoedya Ananta Toer

one day before one year

i think this birds are lucky. i wanna get free

did i miss anything?

this is day 2 picture

day 3

and this is day 4, which is today.

in and out

old pal, i believe we’re on the same boat. i love the rain, i’m sure you do too. i love watching them fall and soak this city i’d rather call mine. i haven’t roamed around that much, so i thought i can pretend this tears means to welcome my return. too bad, i feel the opposite; at least that is before your innate tune called me from across the street.

it’s hard to make sense how i felt so uninvited. there were no rejecting gaze towards my camera; the only company i would rather have. there were in fact only several passerby since the rain kept the usual crowd out of sight. but, i’m not a passerby. i’m not them. i had no destination other than walking along saint catherine street at 9pm with a camera in my hand. i was probably just alienating myself, but i couldn’t help my self from covering my camera with my raincoat, even if the mild rain had ceased. i thought i was apart from the city and its inhabitants. not only that i was strayed, i had no object for my picture. the people were gone, this city was empty. cloudy sky, bleak atmosphere, rushing passerby under their umbrella, there were only these modern and filthy buildings left. i never feels challenged by landscape. they don’t change, they have always been there and they will always be. i thought.

old pal, i have not your name, but i’m no longer holding my camera in shameful disgrace. i put my trust in you dear old pal, that you would never leave this city out of sight. from now on, i would’t feel like i’m the only one watching it. we watch it grows. together.